Idols

For the past two and a half years, my team and I have been praying for the Spirit of God to sweep across South Sudan, for idols to be burned, and for allegiance of people to be shifted only to Jesus. There is a decent amount of syncretism in South Sudan, meaning that people accept Jesus as a god, they may attend church, but they also still follow traditional beliefs. Many people may still have idols, charms, or shrines at their homes to the other gods, and they may still make visits to the local witch doctor.

A few weeks ago, a man showed up on our compound. He had been very sick the night before. In the past he had attended church, but secretly kept charms for protection. He came to us looking for a pastor because he wanted to burn his idols and begin to follow Jesus. I was privileged to present for the idol burning “party”. A small fire was built, and some of our compound workers began to dance around the fire, singing a song about “throwing Satan in the fire”.

It was such a gift to be able to experience this. Countless prayers have been prayed. I have heard stories from other parts of South Sudan about idols being burned, but to experience the answer to prayer first hand was so powerful and extremely encouraging.

Seeing this public display of allegiance shift caused me to think about how it would look in America. If we as Americans were to publically “burn our idols” when we accepted Christ what would we burn? Would it be a car, a house, a lifestyle, a job, comfort, a family, a dream, fitness, food, safety, a desire, social media or a self-image? Are we as Christians in America syncretists as well; do we believe in Jesus, but have a false image of who He is or have secret “charms” or “idols” in our life that we are putting trust in? Would we have to continuously burn idols in our life?

I have been so challenged by this, praying that God would show me what the idols in my life are. Let me tell you, it’s a continual process, as I routinely check my heart to see if there are things that I have elevated above God. It can be painful at times, but God is so faithful and abundantly gracious in walking me through releasing my grip on the idols in my heart. 

Lessons from Onions

Akim! Akim! I heard a voice outside my mudhut call for me using my Dinka name. I cracked the door to see one of our compound workers standing there. He had come to tell me that some of the construction workers wanted to speak to me. I had previously heard of some disputes between the workers regarding the food we provide, and sure enough, they wanted to talk about onions. They were upset because some people were getting onions and others weren’t; some were hoarding onions so that only a select few would get to sprinkle the top of their beans with the crunchy onion flavor. As silly as this sounds, it has been a major point of stress for me. If onions are provided, then so must a knife. The knife likes to “walk off the compound” occasionally, which results in complaints about missing knives. It’s difficult to explain the feelings of frustration due to constant demands, feelings of entitlement, and lack of gratitude (the onions are not the only thing that create strife—oil, tea, bicycles, rainboots…just to name a few).

But then I realized, people are people, regardless if they live in a suburb of Houston or a remote village in South Sudan. As long as we are living in this imperfect world, nothing this earth has to offer will ever truly satisfy.

I’m no different. How many times have I complained to God that He is not providing onions for me? Or that if he is providing onions, I grumble that there is no knife to cut the onions? How many times have I questioned God as to why something is not working my way or thinking that God did not provide what I thought I needed? As I reflected more on this, I realized that there are so many times in my life that God may have not provided the onions I thought I needed or felt entitled to, but he provided something that has a far greater value the onion I thought I needed. Or maybe there are times when I think there isn’t a knife to cut my onion, but He has already given me the tool I need to accomplish the task.

Through this onion “crisis”, I have been challenged to pray for contentment wherever I am at and to give thanks in ALL circumstances. I still have a long way to go, but this verse is an encouragement to me as I strive for greater contentment and an increased sense of gratitude:

"I have experienced times of need and times of abundance. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of contentment, whether I go satisfied or hungry, have plenty or nothing. I am able to do all things through the one who strengthens me." Philippians 4:12-13

If God Wills

Most days, a good chunk of my time is spent visiting with my South Sudanese friends. The time consists of becoming aware of certain cultural practices, learning language, and discussing daily life, all of which can cover a wide spectrum of topics. Usually, during our chat or language practice, a simple question is asked, such as what they are planning to do the following day, when I will see them again, or if they will go to the market later in the afternoon. The answers may vary, but almost always the answer is coupled with “if God wills”. This is something that has really stuck out to me, as this was not a common phrase used in my circle in the U.S.

Life in America is somewhat more predictable than life in Africa, or it at least appears that way. In the U.S., I can say with confidence that I will go to the store tonight, I will meet you for coffee on Saturday morning, or I will go to visit my Aunt in Dallas in two weeks. Yes, someone may have to cancel because they are sick or a car may break down, but for the most part these plans will come to pass.

As Americans, we thrive on knowing that we are able to control everything, or at least on the feeling that we can control everything. However, the more I speak with my African brothers and sisters, I realize that the sense of control we feel as Americans is really something that is false. With such a history of war and instability, the South Sudanese get the fact that they don’t have control. In all honesty, it is a much more Biblical way of walking through life, whether or not the individual is actually aware of the Biblical truth.

Through observing my South Sudanese friends, I have been convicted of my own pride and false sense of control. This has challenged me to adopt their way of thinking. If I walk in the “if God wills” mindset, it may help me to see a clearer picture of God’s goodness on a daily basis. With this mind set, day after day, through even the smallest of circumstances, I will see even more how He cares for me. And maybe, just maybe, I might be slower to doubt His goodness when He does allow something that I deem “bad” to happen.

“Come now you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go in to such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”—yet  you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is , you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.” James 4:13-15

New Home

I recently moved into my new home. It’s a mud hut. It’s square, 5 meters by 5 meters, made of mud bricks, and has a thatched roof. Definitely nothing too lavish compared to American standards, or at least the part of America that I come from. There are scorpions that hide under boxes and in the cracks in the walls between the bricks and mice that come in to feast on whatever crumbs are left out. Despite how lowly it seems looking at it in an American perspective, it is a mansion here. 

When you have a friend who has a family of seven or eight that stay in a hut that is much smaller than yours (for one person), it’s definitely humbling. When you are preparing to burn an old cardboard box because you see it as trash and someone asks if they can have it to sleep on, whoa, it’s overwhelming. When your friend who wears the same holey shirt day after day generously brings some food to share with you, it’s very sobering.

After a year and a half of constantly moving around and living in and among these conditions, with those that physically have way less than I do, I still struggle with how God is calling me to live and what He is leading me to do with my physical possessions. I pray that Jesus would enable me to walk in ceaseless thanksgiving, with tremendous generosity, and moral clarity, and that it would all be done with exceeding joy.

Home Sweet Home

Changing Seasons

Recently, God asked me to do a very difficult thing. I had to say good bye to the people I have lived with, learned language with, done life with, grown to love, and become family with for the past year and a half. I knew that one day I would have to say goodbye, but I didn’t think it would be so soon or because of circumstances due to war. 

I wasn’t ready. Tears streamed down my face as I said my last goodbyes and embraced my beautiful Nuer friends. As we drove away towards the airport, I knew that I was leaving a chunk of my heart with these people. I questioned God as to why He gave me such a love for these people and such a desire to be with them when I couldn’t stay. I didn’t want new friends from a different tribe. I was perfectly happy with the ones I have among the Nuer.

Back in Uganda, one of my friends reminded me how fortunate I was to have been able to spend that time among the Nuer. She encouraged me to not be afraid to invest in the new place I am going, and to not forget the power of intercession for my Nuer friends.

God accomplished whatever purpose that he had for me among the Nuer. He had me with the Nuer for a season, and maybe I’ll one day be reunited with them. I may never see fruit or know what my particular purpose was other than that He called me to the Nuer for a time. He gave me these people to love for a short while, and I don’t know if I could have loved them anymore. He is now giving me others to love, maybe for a short time or maybe for many years. If I loved the Nuer more than I ever thought possible, I know that Jesus will provide an even greater overflow of his love for this new tribe of people.

While my heart still hurts when I think about not being with the Nuer, I am filled with hope and expectation as I look forward to what the Lord is going to do during this season in Tonj.

Nyareat and her family

A Christmas Eve to Remember

On Christmas Eve in Gambella, Laura and I were invited to attend the annual Christmas Eve “Machin”, which is basically a church parade through town. Each Nuer church in Gambella formed a group, complete with drums, flags and wooden crosses. Everyone then proceeded to sing, dance, and march through the streets of town.

Hundreds participated, so many that the crowd of people stopped the traffic of the local Bajaj (rickshaw) taxis. As we danced down a dirt road there was so much dust in the air that had been stirred up from the ground it was as if we were caught in a dust storm, and it difficult to breathe. At one point while crossing a bridge, there were so many people dancing across the bridge at once that the whole structure was shaking (this was slightly terrifying ha).

After dancing/marching/singing for about three hours, I was so tired, sweaty and covered in dirt. Laura and I went home, but our Nuer friends went on to church to pray and worship late into the night. In fact, we later found out that many spent the night at church so that they could take part in the Christmas morning church celebrations.

It was a very joyous time as we celebrated with our Nuer friends the birth of our Lord and Savior. It was so great to experience how different cultures worship God—with their enthusiasm and loud singing, drumming and dancing. As much as I love Christmas and the traditions I have with my family, it was very refreshing to see how Christmas is celebrated outside American culture. The main focus of Christmas was not the decorations, food, or gifts, but one of joyful worship, reflecting on the gift of Jesus.

I now know that I definitely want to be a part of the Nuer celebrations in heaven!